Christmas is less than two weeks away. I've done most of my shopping. Still have to
buy gifts for my parole officers in three states. Long story. It started with an offer to join Lori Morgan's tour for a few days. It's the time of year to give out some Christmas gifts...and to think about Christmas gifts I would love to give. So, without further ado...
To Nick Saban-Two recruiting classes of hard-nosed kids who actually want to play hard and prepare to win.
Tommy Tuberville-Nothing. What does he possibly need? His team was slightly better than average, but he beat Alabama for the sixth year in a row so he got a $200,000 raise and a contract extension.
(How many games does an Alabama or Auburn coach have to win to keep his job?
The answer is one.)
WHNT News Anchor Steve Johnson-Everyone drive 55 miles an hour on the interstate and not on Governors and California so he runs out of Driving You Crazy stories.
Alabama Drivers-Blinkers and the knowledge of how to use the damn things.
WHNT News Anchor Lisa Washington-Prada, Kate Spade, Coach, Ferragamo, Dooney & Burke,
Versace....
WHNT Chief Meterologist Dan Satterfield-Feeling back in his fingertips after a trip to the magnetic North Pole.
Local politicians attempting to pass anti-illegal immigrant resolutions-Insight to know voters aren't stupid. Voters know it's about posturing for the next step on your political ladder.
Madison Mayor Sandy Kirkindall-A big time upscale shopping district and an exit off of I-565 right to it. Someone once told me that Madison wasn't big enough to have another exit.
Hmm..... Falkville, Hartselle, Lacon, Hayden, Elkmont, and Verbena?
Huntsville Mayor Loretta Spencer-Nothing at all. Well....maybe a card.
Loretta Spencer is mayor-for-life. I'm not sure I could get her anything. It's an amazing accomplishment this day and time when you create a scenario in which you are unbeatable as a politician.
She is just that....unbeatable.
Faye Dyer and Glenn Watson-The number for Home Box Office. The race for this commission seat ought to be on Pay-Per-View.
WHNT News Anchor Jerry Hayes-The home phone number for Sara Evans and the name of the store where Sara buys her winter red nail polish for those perfect little toes.
WHNT News Anchor Elise Morgan-A PhD in "food label reading." I've never worked with anyone who knows what carrageenan, polydextrose, thiamine hydrochloride, papain, rennet, chymosin, and monocalcium phosphate is.
Led Zeppelin-My humble thanks. Now, how about a tour....
Will add to this as time permits...will add yours as well...just post them below.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Taking Back The Highways....Please!
I don't care how fast you want to drive.
I hope you get a ticket.
From Nov. 24-27, I spent roughly 14 hours on Alabama highways. Went to Montgomery from Huntsville and hung a left and headed to Auburn to cover the Iron Bowl.
Alabama state troopers were smack-dab in the middle of the second "Taking Back Our Highways" campaign. It's the campaign where state troopers have a zero tolerance for
anyone speeding, driving drunk, driving with out a seat-belt, and other issues where people mindlessly disregard everyone's safety while they are driving.
Here is what I learned....
Can we hire 200 more state troopers?
Alabama drivers, by and large, have no respect for anyone else while driving.
You do not have an God-given or government-given right to drive 90.
You especially do not have the right to drive 90 on my bumper.
You should have your right to talk on a cell phone while driving 90 taken away.
You should get a ticket for driving 75 in a 70. You should get at least three
tickets for driving 90 on my bumper.
Speeding.
Wreckless Driving.
Being an Idiot. (Okay...I don't think there is a law against being an idiot. Maybe there should be.)
I'm tired of you driving your SUV and giant truck like a tank assaulting Fallujah.
If you are driving your SUV 90 three inches off a Ford Escort's bumper, back the
hell off. What are you thinking? Do you really think driving like Jeff Gordon is that funny?
Are you that stupid?
I'm for making "Take Back Our Highways" permanent.
More state troopers? Give me Gov. Riley's phone number. Can I call him now?
You can have some more of my tax dollars. Do you need me to mail my tip jar?
I have 9 dollars in my pocket. If you will take the 7 singles and 8 quarters to
use for more troopers, just call. I'll drive it to you. And I won't drive 90 and I
won't tailgate anyone.
I'm mad. Get off my.....bumper. The life you save might be mine.
I'm getting to the point I don't care about yours. If you want to drive 90, do it somewhere else.
I hope you get a ticket.
From Nov. 24-27, I spent roughly 14 hours on Alabama highways. Went to Montgomery from Huntsville and hung a left and headed to Auburn to cover the Iron Bowl.
Alabama state troopers were smack-dab in the middle of the second "Taking Back Our Highways" campaign. It's the campaign where state troopers have a zero tolerance for
anyone speeding, driving drunk, driving with out a seat-belt, and other issues where people mindlessly disregard everyone's safety while they are driving.
Here is what I learned....
Can we hire 200 more state troopers?
Alabama drivers, by and large, have no respect for anyone else while driving.
You do not have an God-given or government-given right to drive 90.
You especially do not have the right to drive 90 on my bumper.
You should have your right to talk on a cell phone while driving 90 taken away.
You should get a ticket for driving 75 in a 70. You should get at least three
tickets for driving 90 on my bumper.
Speeding.
Wreckless Driving.
Being an Idiot. (Okay...I don't think there is a law against being an idiot. Maybe there should be.)
I'm tired of you driving your SUV and giant truck like a tank assaulting Fallujah.
If you are driving your SUV 90 three inches off a Ford Escort's bumper, back the
hell off. What are you thinking? Do you really think driving like Jeff Gordon is that funny?
Are you that stupid?
I'm for making "Take Back Our Highways" permanent.
More state troopers? Give me Gov. Riley's phone number. Can I call him now?
You can have some more of my tax dollars. Do you need me to mail my tip jar?
I have 9 dollars in my pocket. If you will take the 7 singles and 8 quarters to
use for more troopers, just call. I'll drive it to you. And I won't drive 90 and I
won't tailgate anyone.
I'm mad. Get off my.....bumper. The life you save might be mine.
I'm getting to the point I don't care about yours. If you want to drive 90, do it somewhere else.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Chinese and Reporter Files
Today, the world found out the Chinese are creating files on reporters who may cover the Olympics.
Turns out they are concerned there may be reporters who are occasionally critical of something they cover.
I glad the Chinese are creating files on reporters coming to cover the most important games in the world.
That's a good project. It's better than rolling tanks over students in Tiananmen Square. Figuring out what ties Bob Costas will bring is a better project than killing those who demonstrate for freedom and against tyranny. By the way, Costas is a baseball guy.
He's going to spend all the Olympics getting baseball back for London in 2012.
As well as he should.
Here are some things I can help the Chinese with in getting their super-secret dossiers together.
If I can save the Chinese military intelligence a step or two getting their files together on reporters, maybe they won't detain as many college professors or execute as many dissidents. Detaining college professors might be okay with Bill O'Reilly. Maybe there is an opening for him with the Chinese military.
But I digress.
But here are the time savers for the Chinese.
If you tell the reporters from the southern states the St. Bernard on the buffet is really bar-be-que, they will be fine with it.
Brian Williams from NBC won't be near as interested in the Falun Gong movement as he will
the new NASCAR track going in by the Three Gorges Dam.
Katie Couric will need to know where The Gap is located.
Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly would love to room together.
(Just as long as one killed the other, that wouldn't be all bad. My money is on Olbermann.)
If the Chinese military does want to detain a network and keep them for questioning until
2050, you can have the "E Network." Maybe they can stay there.
You can have MTV also.
Wolf Blitzer is code for "don't make me stop this continent."
Charlie Gibson is a real jerk before he has his morning coffee. Don't start anything with him.
He shoots back.
and finally...
When Letterman and Shaffer goes through customs, it really is oregano. It's to use on all those St. Bernard recipes they plan to bring back.
I have friends who work on government contracts.
So, I asked them how I should bill the Chinese for helping them so here goes....
Attention: Chinese Government
Billing For: Helping Chinese Create Filed on Media People.
Total: $40,000,000
Will take it in small bills.
Greg Screws
PS-If you get real difficult on this, don't make us send Rick and Bubba over......
Turns out they are concerned there may be reporters who are occasionally critical of something they cover.
I glad the Chinese are creating files on reporters coming to cover the most important games in the world.
That's a good project. It's better than rolling tanks over students in Tiananmen Square. Figuring out what ties Bob Costas will bring is a better project than killing those who demonstrate for freedom and against tyranny. By the way, Costas is a baseball guy.
He's going to spend all the Olympics getting baseball back for London in 2012.
As well as he should.
Here are some things I can help the Chinese with in getting their super-secret dossiers together.
If I can save the Chinese military intelligence a step or two getting their files together on reporters, maybe they won't detain as many college professors or execute as many dissidents. Detaining college professors might be okay with Bill O'Reilly. Maybe there is an opening for him with the Chinese military.
But I digress.
But here are the time savers for the Chinese.
If you tell the reporters from the southern states the St. Bernard on the buffet is really bar-be-que, they will be fine with it.
Brian Williams from NBC won't be near as interested in the Falun Gong movement as he will
the new NASCAR track going in by the Three Gorges Dam.
Katie Couric will need to know where The Gap is located.
Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly would love to room together.
(Just as long as one killed the other, that wouldn't be all bad. My money is on Olbermann.)
If the Chinese military does want to detain a network and keep them for questioning until
2050, you can have the "E Network." Maybe they can stay there.
You can have MTV also.
Wolf Blitzer is code for "don't make me stop this continent."
Charlie Gibson is a real jerk before he has his morning coffee. Don't start anything with him.
He shoots back.
and finally...
When Letterman and Shaffer goes through customs, it really is oregano. It's to use on all those St. Bernard recipes they plan to bring back.
I have friends who work on government contracts.
So, I asked them how I should bill the Chinese for helping them so here goes....
Attention: Chinese Government
Billing For: Helping Chinese Create Filed on Media People.
Total: $40,000,000
Will take it in small bills.
Greg Screws
PS-If you get real difficult on this, don't make us send Rick and Bubba over......
Friday, November 9, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Alabama Cage Fighting and Sex Toys
The state of Alabama recently said cage fighting is not illegal. For those of you who don't know, cage fighting is where people pay money to basically beat the hell of each other.
The city of Hartselle recently asked the AG for an opinion on cage fighting's legal status. The timing was curious. The opinion was requested after the promoter moved his cage fights out of the city-owned recreation center to another venue.
I'm sure the timing of the request, and the subsequent visits by the fire marshall, were purely coincidental.
The AG says local municipalities can regulate cage fighting "to provide for the safety and health of the residents of the community."
I guess that means the safety and health of anyone who isn't actually getting their head kicked in cage fighting.
There is good news in Hartselle. At some point, every problem was fixed. Roads. Schools.
Crime. That wet-dry thing is an issue. But alcohol will be sold in Hartselle when Brittany Spears joins The 700 Club. Back to the problems. They have been solved to the point that the council and the mayor could take up the issue that I know is on the hearts of minds of many in that fair town.
Cage Fighting.
Now, this comes closely to the U.S. Supreme Court declining to hear a case about the sell of sex toys in Alabama. The AG says that Alabama can regulate the sell of sex toys. Sherrie Williams owns two stores in North Alabama called Pleasures. She has made a good living selling things that people use in the privacy of their own home. I'm not talking a battery operated device that makes waffles or smoothies.
Only people that cage fight would use waffle-makers and smoothie machines in the privacy of their own home. I'm no prude but third degree burns and whirling blades aren't a turn on to me.
But I digress.
So now the state of Alabama with a nod from the U.S. Supreme Court can regulate sex toys.
At this very moment in Alabama time, you can pay $40 to climb into a cage and start beating someone to a bloody pulp.
At this very moment in Alabama time, you cannot pay $40 to buy the Triple-Whiz-Earth Moving-Energizer-Fly-Spinner With Wings and take it home for use with the person or persons of your choice.
But there is a loophole in the law.
Of course there is. Loopholes are always written in laws in case a politician toe-tapping in a bathroom stall needs a break regular people who go to cage fights can't get.
So...I now can appreciate the brilliance of the Hartselle mayor and city council.
Oh. I'm sorry. I digress again.
The loophole is brilliant. If the device sold is for scientific, educational, and medical use, they will sell it if you have the money . If you go to Pleasures and and ask for a sex toy, they won't sell it to you. But if you go and ask for a battery operated machine that has high RPM's so you can make a salt map of South America, they will bag it up and ask if you need double-A's.
Educational. Scientific. Medicinal.
I wished I had studied harder in school. I was looking at those term papers in Mrs. Sims anatomy class all wrong.
The city of Hartselle recently asked the AG for an opinion on cage fighting's legal status. The timing was curious. The opinion was requested after the promoter moved his cage fights out of the city-owned recreation center to another venue.
I'm sure the timing of the request, and the subsequent visits by the fire marshall, were purely coincidental.
The AG says local municipalities can regulate cage fighting "to provide for the safety and health of the residents of the community."
I guess that means the safety and health of anyone who isn't actually getting their head kicked in cage fighting.
There is good news in Hartselle. At some point, every problem was fixed. Roads. Schools.
Crime. That wet-dry thing is an issue. But alcohol will be sold in Hartselle when Brittany Spears joins The 700 Club. Back to the problems. They have been solved to the point that the council and the mayor could take up the issue that I know is on the hearts of minds of many in that fair town.
Cage Fighting.
Now, this comes closely to the U.S. Supreme Court declining to hear a case about the sell of sex toys in Alabama. The AG says that Alabama can regulate the sell of sex toys. Sherrie Williams owns two stores in North Alabama called Pleasures. She has made a good living selling things that people use in the privacy of their own home. I'm not talking a battery operated device that makes waffles or smoothies.
Only people that cage fight would use waffle-makers and smoothie machines in the privacy of their own home. I'm no prude but third degree burns and whirling blades aren't a turn on to me.
But I digress.
So now the state of Alabama with a nod from the U.S. Supreme Court can regulate sex toys.
At this very moment in Alabama time, you can pay $40 to climb into a cage and start beating someone to a bloody pulp.
At this very moment in Alabama time, you cannot pay $40 to buy the Triple-Whiz-Earth Moving-Energizer-Fly-Spinner With Wings and take it home for use with the person or persons of your choice.
But there is a loophole in the law.
Of course there is. Loopholes are always written in laws in case a politician toe-tapping in a bathroom stall needs a break regular people who go to cage fights can't get.
So...I now can appreciate the brilliance of the Hartselle mayor and city council.
Oh. I'm sorry. I digress again.
The loophole is brilliant. If the device sold is for scientific, educational, and medical use, they will sell it if you have the money . If you go to Pleasures and and ask for a sex toy, they won't sell it to you. But if you go and ask for a battery operated machine that has high RPM's so you can make a salt map of South America, they will bag it up and ask if you need double-A's.
Educational. Scientific. Medicinal.
I wished I had studied harder in school. I was looking at those term papers in Mrs. Sims anatomy class all wrong.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
College Safety Tips
I did a story about safety tips for college students. I have a daughter out of town in college...(Hi Emily! Love You!)...and i worry about her 24/7.
So, I decided to post these tips below for people to read. Safety is a serious issue...especially when it's your kids.
----------------------
How to Protect Yourself:
Your property:
Use a combination padlock on all storage units. Check the unit periodically to make sure nothing has been disturbed.
Don’t mark your key chain with your name, address and license number. Lost keys can lead to theft. Take care of keys; don’t give anyone the chance to duplicate them.
Engrave all valuable personal property with your name and social security number. Keep a detailed list of all valuables and serial numbers.
Move valuables out of view from windows and doors.
Lock your vehicle at all times.
Copy all important papers and cards that you carry in your purse or wallet, including your driver’s license. Keep the copies in a safe place. The information will be invaluable if anything is stolen or lost.
Copy your vehicle ID and tag number. If your vehicle is stolen, it cannot be entered into the nationwide law enforcement network without this information.
At home:
Keep doors and windows locked at all times, even if you are only away for a few minutes. Do not “prop open” doors in residence halls.
Be assertive and demand that any unwanted person in your residence leave, or leave yourself. Anyone who refuses to leave is a trespasser. If you live in a women’s residence hall, report any unescorted males to security.
Make sure hallways, entrances, garages, and grounds are well lit. Leave porch lights on all night. Keep blinds and curtains shut after dark and never dress in front of a window. When you expect to return after dark, leave an interior light on with the shades drawn. If you live on campus, report any malfunctioning light to the physical plant.
Know who is at your door before you open it. Campus staff carry identification and solicitors are not allowed on campus. Require proper identification from any repair or utility people. If you live off campus, install a peephole in your front door.
Make calls for strangers who want to use your phone. Don’t open your door or let them in.
List initials and last names only on your mailbox or door and in the telephone book. Don’t leave your name on your door or answering machine if you live alone. Don’t have the recording state you are away or when you will return.
Get to know your neighbors. If you live off campus, join a neighborhood watch system and share information on suspicious circumstances.
When you go home on breaks, have someone pick up your mail, newspaper, etc. Install timers and leave on all outside lights. Make your residence appear “lived in.”
If you come home and see a broken window or a jimmied door, don’t go inside. Confronting a burglar can be dangerous. Phone police immediately.
Away from home:
Walk or jog with a friend. Avoid jogging after dark. If you must jog at night, stay in well- lit, well-traveled areas.
Carry a whistle and don’t hesitate to use it to alert others you need help. Vary your pattern frequently.
Don’t wear headphones when jogging or biking. They significantly reduce your ability to hear and thus your awareness.
Tell someone where you are going and when you will return.
Don’t fight back if your purse or wallet is snatched. Throw it in one direction and run in the other rather than risk personal injury. Call the police immediately.
Be careful when and where you patronize ATM machines. Accessing ATM cash machines in remote locations, particularly at night, could increase your risk of robbery and personal injury. While you are standing at the machine, keep turning around and scanning for people approaching you or lingering around.
Avoid working or studying alone in a building other than your residence at night.
Stand and walk tall with a brisk, purposeful stride. Make brief eye contact with someone who makes you feel uneasy to let them know that you see them and are not afraid, but don’t stare too long or prolong your glance.
Trust your instincts.
In your car:
Check the back seat before entering.
Keep vehicle doors locked at all times, even when driving in daylight, so no one can jump in at a red light.
Be suspicious of people approaching your car asking for directions, or change, or handing out flyers.
When stopping in traffic, leave enough distance between your car and the one in front of you, so you can quickly pull away if necessary.
If another driver bumps your car or your tire goes flat, keep the doors and windows closed and wait for police to arrive, or slowly drive to the nearest police station.
Keep enough gas in your tank for emergencies.
Don’t offer rides to anyone you don’t know, even if he or she claims to be a student.
Honk your horn if someone suspicious approaches your vehicle.
If your car breaks down, lift the hood, put on flashers, and wait inside the car for help with the doors locked. Ask people who stop to call the police or AAA. Don’t go with anyone.
Don’t stop for stranded motorists. You are of greater help to them by calling the police.
Keep valuables in the trunk of your vehicle, not on the seats.
Park your car in well-lit areas.
Remove all keys from your vehicle. Thieves look for keys under fenders and in magnetic key cases. Walk with your keys in hand.
Remember to buckle up. It’s the law in Alabama.
At work:
Avoid working or studying alone in a building at night.
When working late, make sure doors are locked.
Keep your purse in a locked cabinet or drawer. Never leave it on or underneath a desk.
Avoid using stairs in remote sections of the building.
Do not hold the door open for strangers after normal business hours.
Ask people you don’t recognize if you can help them.
Report suspicious activity to campus police.
Be careful what you leave on your desk and on your computer screen when you step away from your desk.
Keep passwords in secure places.
It is very important for you to have a plan if an attacker tries to steal your bag, attack you from behind, or your car breaks down at night, etc. Knowing how you would handle situations if you should ever have to face an attacker could save your life. Always be on your guard.
Date or Acquaintance Rape Prevention
Prevention:
Awareness + Common Sense + Early Planning = Best Prevention.
Be aware of your surroundings and instincts.
Expect to be respected. Assert your rights.
Clearly communicate your thoughts and beliefs through actions and words.
Meet social or business acquaintances in public places; arrange to have your own transportation or travel with good friends.
Carry money to meetings and on dates in case you need to use the phone or pay for transportation.
Control your environment. Don’t let yourself get put in a dangerous location like an alley or back room.
Know your date’s first and last name, address and business.
Especially with new people, watch how much alcohol or drugs both you and your date consume. Alcohol and drug use may increase your vulnerability by lowering your awareness and ability to react.
If you find yourself in a potentially bad situation, consider:
The object is survival. Do whatever you can to survive. Try to remember as much as you can about the attacker: height and weight compared to yours, scars, tattoos, accent, etc.
As in prevention, clearly assert your rights through your words and actions.
Criticize your date’s actions, not him personally, so that he will understand what behavior to stop. For example “I’m not ready for sex.” or “I have enjoyed our date until now, I don’t want to do this.”
If he does not listen to you, leave.
Do not let embarrassment for him keep you from doing what is right for you.
Choose effective means to get yourself out of the situation. Act with a purpose.
Try to keep your composure; avoid falling apart.
At the first opportunity, escape from the situation and go to a safe place and call for help.
Active intervention methods:
Bite, scratch, kick, pull, twist and punch in vulnerable areas- stomach, sides, face, eyes, shins, hands, and the groin area.
Run away.
Attract attention by continually screaming and yelling “FIRE,” “HELP,” or “I DON’T KNOW THIS PERSON.”
Passive intervention methods:
Talk yourself out of a situation. Give a “convincing story.” Tell him you have a contagious venereal disease, you’re pregnant, or a friend is expected to appear at any moment.
Pretend to cooperate until an opportunity for escape presents itself. Put your attacker off guard.
Act in a bizarre and/or repulsive manner (feign insanity or convulsions, urinate or vomit.)
Do what is best for you and your situation.
After the attack:
Try to be as calm as possible in order to think more clearly.
Call 911 immediately and ask to speak to a rape counselor or call the Crisis Center (826-8600). Do not disturb any evidence, including that on your body. Do not bathe, brush your teeth, douche, clean fingernails or change clothes. Take a change of clothes with you to the hospital.
The student has the option to report a rape, and the campus security authority has the responsibility to help him/her report it to the proper people.
The University wants to ensure the victim is both mentally and physically protected and that counseling is available and is encouraged. If living arrangements need to be changed, the University will assist in providing reasonable accommodations.
If you know someone who has been attacked:
Be there. Your presence means you care and helps counter feelings of helplessness, guilt, and isolation that victims often experience.
Listen to the victim. Don’t be judgmental of his/her actions.
Offer to accompany the victim to the hospital or police station.
Encourage the victim to seek help from a victim’s assistance program.
So, I decided to post these tips below for people to read. Safety is a serious issue...especially when it's your kids.
----------------------
How to Protect Yourself:
Your property:
Use a combination padlock on all storage units. Check the unit periodically to make sure nothing has been disturbed.
Don’t mark your key chain with your name, address and license number. Lost keys can lead to theft. Take care of keys; don’t give anyone the chance to duplicate them.
Engrave all valuable personal property with your name and social security number. Keep a detailed list of all valuables and serial numbers.
Move valuables out of view from windows and doors.
Lock your vehicle at all times.
Copy all important papers and cards that you carry in your purse or wallet, including your driver’s license. Keep the copies in a safe place. The information will be invaluable if anything is stolen or lost.
Copy your vehicle ID and tag number. If your vehicle is stolen, it cannot be entered into the nationwide law enforcement network without this information.
At home:
Keep doors and windows locked at all times, even if you are only away for a few minutes. Do not “prop open” doors in residence halls.
Be assertive and demand that any unwanted person in your residence leave, or leave yourself. Anyone who refuses to leave is a trespasser. If you live in a women’s residence hall, report any unescorted males to security.
Make sure hallways, entrances, garages, and grounds are well lit. Leave porch lights on all night. Keep blinds and curtains shut after dark and never dress in front of a window. When you expect to return after dark, leave an interior light on with the shades drawn. If you live on campus, report any malfunctioning light to the physical plant.
Know who is at your door before you open it. Campus staff carry identification and solicitors are not allowed on campus. Require proper identification from any repair or utility people. If you live off campus, install a peephole in your front door.
Make calls for strangers who want to use your phone. Don’t open your door or let them in.
List initials and last names only on your mailbox or door and in the telephone book. Don’t leave your name on your door or answering machine if you live alone. Don’t have the recording state you are away or when you will return.
Get to know your neighbors. If you live off campus, join a neighborhood watch system and share information on suspicious circumstances.
When you go home on breaks, have someone pick up your mail, newspaper, etc. Install timers and leave on all outside lights. Make your residence appear “lived in.”
If you come home and see a broken window or a jimmied door, don’t go inside. Confronting a burglar can be dangerous. Phone police immediately.
Away from home:
Walk or jog with a friend. Avoid jogging after dark. If you must jog at night, stay in well- lit, well-traveled areas.
Carry a whistle and don’t hesitate to use it to alert others you need help. Vary your pattern frequently.
Don’t wear headphones when jogging or biking. They significantly reduce your ability to hear and thus your awareness.
Tell someone where you are going and when you will return.
Don’t fight back if your purse or wallet is snatched. Throw it in one direction and run in the other rather than risk personal injury. Call the police immediately.
Be careful when and where you patronize ATM machines. Accessing ATM cash machines in remote locations, particularly at night, could increase your risk of robbery and personal injury. While you are standing at the machine, keep turning around and scanning for people approaching you or lingering around.
Avoid working or studying alone in a building other than your residence at night.
Stand and walk tall with a brisk, purposeful stride. Make brief eye contact with someone who makes you feel uneasy to let them know that you see them and are not afraid, but don’t stare too long or prolong your glance.
Trust your instincts.
In your car:
Check the back seat before entering.
Keep vehicle doors locked at all times, even when driving in daylight, so no one can jump in at a red light.
Be suspicious of people approaching your car asking for directions, or change, or handing out flyers.
When stopping in traffic, leave enough distance between your car and the one in front of you, so you can quickly pull away if necessary.
If another driver bumps your car or your tire goes flat, keep the doors and windows closed and wait for police to arrive, or slowly drive to the nearest police station.
Keep enough gas in your tank for emergencies.
Don’t offer rides to anyone you don’t know, even if he or she claims to be a student.
Honk your horn if someone suspicious approaches your vehicle.
If your car breaks down, lift the hood, put on flashers, and wait inside the car for help with the doors locked. Ask people who stop to call the police or AAA. Don’t go with anyone.
Don’t stop for stranded motorists. You are of greater help to them by calling the police.
Keep valuables in the trunk of your vehicle, not on the seats.
Park your car in well-lit areas.
Remove all keys from your vehicle. Thieves look for keys under fenders and in magnetic key cases. Walk with your keys in hand.
Remember to buckle up. It’s the law in Alabama.
At work:
Avoid working or studying alone in a building at night.
When working late, make sure doors are locked.
Keep your purse in a locked cabinet or drawer. Never leave it on or underneath a desk.
Avoid using stairs in remote sections of the building.
Do not hold the door open for strangers after normal business hours.
Ask people you don’t recognize if you can help them.
Report suspicious activity to campus police.
Be careful what you leave on your desk and on your computer screen when you step away from your desk.
Keep passwords in secure places.
It is very important for you to have a plan if an attacker tries to steal your bag, attack you from behind, or your car breaks down at night, etc. Knowing how you would handle situations if you should ever have to face an attacker could save your life. Always be on your guard.
Date or Acquaintance Rape Prevention
Prevention:
Awareness + Common Sense + Early Planning = Best Prevention.
Be aware of your surroundings and instincts.
Expect to be respected. Assert your rights.
Clearly communicate your thoughts and beliefs through actions and words.
Meet social or business acquaintances in public places; arrange to have your own transportation or travel with good friends.
Carry money to meetings and on dates in case you need to use the phone or pay for transportation.
Control your environment. Don’t let yourself get put in a dangerous location like an alley or back room.
Know your date’s first and last name, address and business.
Especially with new people, watch how much alcohol or drugs both you and your date consume. Alcohol and drug use may increase your vulnerability by lowering your awareness and ability to react.
If you find yourself in a potentially bad situation, consider:
The object is survival. Do whatever you can to survive. Try to remember as much as you can about the attacker: height and weight compared to yours, scars, tattoos, accent, etc.
As in prevention, clearly assert your rights through your words and actions.
Criticize your date’s actions, not him personally, so that he will understand what behavior to stop. For example “I’m not ready for sex.” or “I have enjoyed our date until now, I don’t want to do this.”
If he does not listen to you, leave.
Do not let embarrassment for him keep you from doing what is right for you.
Choose effective means to get yourself out of the situation. Act with a purpose.
Try to keep your composure; avoid falling apart.
At the first opportunity, escape from the situation and go to a safe place and call for help.
Active intervention methods:
Bite, scratch, kick, pull, twist and punch in vulnerable areas- stomach, sides, face, eyes, shins, hands, and the groin area.
Run away.
Attract attention by continually screaming and yelling “FIRE,” “HELP,” or “I DON’T KNOW THIS PERSON.”
Passive intervention methods:
Talk yourself out of a situation. Give a “convincing story.” Tell him you have a contagious venereal disease, you’re pregnant, or a friend is expected to appear at any moment.
Pretend to cooperate until an opportunity for escape presents itself. Put your attacker off guard.
Act in a bizarre and/or repulsive manner (feign insanity or convulsions, urinate or vomit.)
Do what is best for you and your situation.
After the attack:
Try to be as calm as possible in order to think more clearly.
Call 911 immediately and ask to speak to a rape counselor or call the Crisis Center (826-8600). Do not disturb any evidence, including that on your body. Do not bathe, brush your teeth, douche, clean fingernails or change clothes. Take a change of clothes with you to the hospital.
The student has the option to report a rape, and the campus security authority has the responsibility to help him/her report it to the proper people.
The University wants to ensure the victim is both mentally and physically protected and that counseling is available and is encouraged. If living arrangements need to be changed, the University will assist in providing reasonable accommodations.
If you know someone who has been attacked:
Be there. Your presence means you care and helps counter feelings of helplessness, guilt, and isolation that victims often experience.
Listen to the victim. Don’t be judgmental of his/her actions.
Offer to accompany the victim to the hospital or police station.
Encourage the victim to seek help from a victim’s assistance program.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Murder Between The Headstones
"This boils down to a father upset that Bobby Kellum was with his 17-year-old daughter."
Kellum's throat was slit and body burned in May of 1977. The girl's father, Dewitt Thrash, was apparently angry that Kellum ran off with his daughter. The Marshall County Sheriff confirms that Thrash brutally killed him while two other men watched. They were drunk. They were angry. And, in an instant, Bobby Kellum vanished off the face of the earth. His body was found, but his identity unknown.
Today, Marshall County Sheriff Scott Walls unraveled the mystery from 30 years ago. For three decades, the unidentified body was buried in small plot at the Arab City Cemetery.
A NewsChannel 19 Taking Action Investigation lead to that body being identified as Bobby Kellum and his killers being identified. NewsChannel 19's Sand Mountain Bureau Chief, Carson Clark, did yeoman work and provided the spark that lead to this murder story being resolved.
This story isn't over, though. Thrash and an accomplice in the brutal murder, Troy Barnes, are dead. But, the third man present on that night in May 1977 is still alive. His name is CW Brooks and he's terminally ill. He has six months left. Maybe eight. Not much time left to wonder if you've been a good man. Not much time left to say bye. Not much time left to cleanse your soul of dark secrets which keep you awake at night, fearing what you may dream.
For thirty years, CW Brooks lived with the secret of Bobby Kellum's horrifying murder.
Sheriff Walls says Brooks statement was key to solving the crime. "He has six months to live and didn't want to go to his grave with that on his mind," Walls said.
Looking squarely at the end of your days has a way of bringing instant clarity
to defining issues in your life. Brooks can't say, "I'm sorry" to Bobby Kellum.
But, by saying "I was there," he can give the Kellum family the answer to Bobby's fate.
In Ecclesiastes, it's written "there is a time to kill and a time to heal."
As his life slowly ends, CW Brooks must have realized the need to heal. The need to come clean. He's lead a long life. He's had time to reflect on what sins to confess.
Time. A long life. Confession after years of reflections. CW Brooks understands the value and precious nature of those opportunities.
I'm glad he took advantage of the opportunity to cleanse his soul.
Bobby Kellum's family wishes he had enjoyed the same opportunity.
Kellum's throat was slit and body burned in May of 1977. The girl's father, Dewitt Thrash, was apparently angry that Kellum ran off with his daughter. The Marshall County Sheriff confirms that Thrash brutally killed him while two other men watched. They were drunk. They were angry. And, in an instant, Bobby Kellum vanished off the face of the earth. His body was found, but his identity unknown.
Today, Marshall County Sheriff Scott Walls unraveled the mystery from 30 years ago. For three decades, the unidentified body was buried in small plot at the Arab City Cemetery.
A NewsChannel 19 Taking Action Investigation lead to that body being identified as Bobby Kellum and his killers being identified. NewsChannel 19's Sand Mountain Bureau Chief, Carson Clark, did yeoman work and provided the spark that lead to this murder story being resolved.
This story isn't over, though. Thrash and an accomplice in the brutal murder, Troy Barnes, are dead. But, the third man present on that night in May 1977 is still alive. His name is CW Brooks and he's terminally ill. He has six months left. Maybe eight. Not much time left to wonder if you've been a good man. Not much time left to say bye. Not much time left to cleanse your soul of dark secrets which keep you awake at night, fearing what you may dream.
For thirty years, CW Brooks lived with the secret of Bobby Kellum's horrifying murder.
Sheriff Walls says Brooks statement was key to solving the crime. "He has six months to live and didn't want to go to his grave with that on his mind," Walls said.
Looking squarely at the end of your days has a way of bringing instant clarity
to defining issues in your life. Brooks can't say, "I'm sorry" to Bobby Kellum.
But, by saying "I was there," he can give the Kellum family the answer to Bobby's fate.
In Ecclesiastes, it's written "there is a time to kill and a time to heal."
As his life slowly ends, CW Brooks must have realized the need to heal. The need to come clean. He's lead a long life. He's had time to reflect on what sins to confess.
Time. A long life. Confession after years of reflections. CW Brooks understands the value and precious nature of those opportunities.
I'm glad he took advantage of the opportunity to cleanse his soul.
Bobby Kellum's family wishes he had enjoyed the same opportunity.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
A Yard Sale...Just Shoot Me!
I'm having a yard sale. And I'm having it against my better judgment.
The last yard sale I had didn't go so well. It started with my doorbell ringing an hour before the newspaper ad, radio spot, sign on the telephone poll, street corner signs, signs on the Star Market window, signs in my yard, signs in my car, the grapevine, the word on the street, and every other sign you could imagine said it would start. The doorbell didn't just ring. It rang repeatedly. At 5:35 a.m.
RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING.
I was rethinking not buying a gun. But I did find a housecoat to wear while stumbling bleary-eyed to the door.
There stood a 113-year-old woman wearing a 1985 United Way t-shirt and a denim skirt that was way too short for someone who looked over 11 decades old.
"Hey! Where's the yard sale stuff? How come yer stuff ain't out yet?"
So that's what happens to your voice when you start smoking unfiltered camels before WWI.
"The yard sale doesn't start till 7 a.m."
"7 a.m. Hell, I'm usually done and gone by 7 a.m. I got four more to hit in this neighborhood. What's the problem? You gotta light for my smoke?"
"Ma'am, all the ads say no early birds."
How can a 113-year-old woman suck down half an unfiltered camel on the first drag?
She blew the smoke out of her old lungs long and street.
"Early?" she sneered. "You call this early?"
Even her words wanted to fall out of her mouth to their death.
"Hell, I'll just sit down here and wait. Can I read your paper?"
Rather than have Beelzebub sit on the steps and scare the other yard sale shoppers, we split a pot of coffee. She only stole two forks and a butter knife while in the house.
Selling your old goods at a yard sale brings a mixed bag of emotions. You can chart your life by how much you keep. You can also chart your path by how much you are going to sell.
Sell. Oh. Selling. A bit of advice about the money you make in a yard sale:
You will not be able to fund a Hawaiian vacation, pay for Junior's college, or buy a BMW with yard sale proceeds. If you are lucky, you will make enough money to buy two really good bottles of wine, two movie tickets, and get the oil changed in the car you have to keep since the yard sale only made $122.
Some yard sale tips:
Morning drinking makes the early yard sale go great, but keep the afternoon cleared for a really long nap.
Haggling just ticks people off. Throwing them out of the yard sale will make you feel better. Especially when you combine it with morning drinking.
Make sure you know what you are selling. Having the preacher down the street find a stack of Playboys isn't good. And he won't buy it that the Playboys belonged to your cousin Thor who is in Afghanistan and left them with you for safe keeping.
Bring a BB gun to shoot neighborhood dogs that start barking 'cause the sun isn't up and you are setting up a yard sale. Oh...sorry...scratch that..that is Michael Vick's yard sale.
and finally.....
Don't forget to get a receipt when you donate all the clothes you didn't sell.
Email me any time. greg.screws@whnt.com or the newsroom at news.dpartment@whnt.com
The last yard sale I had didn't go so well. It started with my doorbell ringing an hour before the newspaper ad, radio spot, sign on the telephone poll, street corner signs, signs on the Star Market window, signs in my yard, signs in my car, the grapevine, the word on the street, and every other sign you could imagine said it would start. The doorbell didn't just ring. It rang repeatedly. At 5:35 a.m.
RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRING.
I was rethinking not buying a gun. But I did find a housecoat to wear while stumbling bleary-eyed to the door.
There stood a 113-year-old woman wearing a 1985 United Way t-shirt and a denim skirt that was way too short for someone who looked over 11 decades old.
"Hey! Where's the yard sale stuff? How come yer stuff ain't out yet?"
So that's what happens to your voice when you start smoking unfiltered camels before WWI.
"The yard sale doesn't start till 7 a.m."
"7 a.m. Hell, I'm usually done and gone by 7 a.m. I got four more to hit in this neighborhood. What's the problem? You gotta light for my smoke?"
"Ma'am, all the ads say no early birds."
How can a 113-year-old woman suck down half an unfiltered camel on the first drag?
She blew the smoke out of her old lungs long and street.
"Early?" she sneered. "You call this early?"
Even her words wanted to fall out of her mouth to their death.
"Hell, I'll just sit down here and wait. Can I read your paper?"
Rather than have Beelzebub sit on the steps and scare the other yard sale shoppers, we split a pot of coffee. She only stole two forks and a butter knife while in the house.
Selling your old goods at a yard sale brings a mixed bag of emotions. You can chart your life by how much you keep. You can also chart your path by how much you are going to sell.
Sell. Oh. Selling. A bit of advice about the money you make in a yard sale:
You will not be able to fund a Hawaiian vacation, pay for Junior's college, or buy a BMW with yard sale proceeds. If you are lucky, you will make enough money to buy two really good bottles of wine, two movie tickets, and get the oil changed in the car you have to keep since the yard sale only made $122.
Some yard sale tips:
Morning drinking makes the early yard sale go great, but keep the afternoon cleared for a really long nap.
Haggling just ticks people off. Throwing them out of the yard sale will make you feel better. Especially when you combine it with morning drinking.
Make sure you know what you are selling. Having the preacher down the street find a stack of Playboys isn't good. And he won't buy it that the Playboys belonged to your cousin Thor who is in Afghanistan and left them with you for safe keeping.
Bring a BB gun to shoot neighborhood dogs that start barking 'cause the sun isn't up and you are setting up a yard sale. Oh...sorry...scratch that..that is Michael Vick's yard sale.
and finally.....
Don't forget to get a receipt when you donate all the clothes you didn't sell.
Email me any time. greg.screws@whnt.com or the newsroom at news.dpartment@whnt.com
Monday, August 13, 2007
Taking Back The Highways-Great Idea!
I'm happy Alabama troopers are on the offensive. It's called Taking Back The Highways and it's about time. Traffic on I-65 and I-565 looks like the backstretch at Talladega with three laps till the checkered flag.
Despite what NASCAR commercials would have you believe, there is no constitutional right to impersonate Dale Jr. while driving your SUV.
For five days, Alabama troopers are taking a zero tolerance stand against lunacy on state highways. Especially the interstates. Why are you driving so fast with one hand on the wheel and the other on the cell phone texting dinner plans to the kids?
You can drive insanely fast and get home...four minutes quicker.
"Doggone it! If I had just done 100 through Madison, I could have gotten home sooner and caught the latest restless leg syndrome commercial."
It's just plain stupid.
Slow down. Get your mindless driving under control and stay more than three inches off my bumper.
Have you ever seen what happens to the human body when a car doing 90 blows a tire, goes off the highway, and flips a few times?
Do you know what happens to a family when someone crosses the median and hits them head on?
Have you tried to sleep when the first thing you see in your dreams are headlights drifting into your lane?
The highway fatality rate in Alabama is rising. The reason is two-fold. People drive too fast and they don't use common sense. The Taking Back The Highway program is designed to remind people that speeding kills.
Don't complain to me about your ticket! I think taking back the highway is a great idea. In fact, I'm glad you got a ticket for doing 90. If the trooper had more time, maybe he could write you another one for reckless driving since you were three inches off the back bumper of the car in front. But he has to go. Someone else is always going 95.
Despite what NASCAR commercials would have you believe, there is no constitutional right to impersonate Dale Jr. while driving your SUV.
For five days, Alabama troopers are taking a zero tolerance stand against lunacy on state highways. Especially the interstates. Why are you driving so fast with one hand on the wheel and the other on the cell phone texting dinner plans to the kids?
You can drive insanely fast and get home...four minutes quicker.
"Doggone it! If I had just done 100 through Madison, I could have gotten home sooner and caught the latest restless leg syndrome commercial."
It's just plain stupid.
Slow down. Get your mindless driving under control and stay more than three inches off my bumper.
Have you ever seen what happens to the human body when a car doing 90 blows a tire, goes off the highway, and flips a few times?
Do you know what happens to a family when someone crosses the median and hits them head on?
Have you tried to sleep when the first thing you see in your dreams are headlights drifting into your lane?
The highway fatality rate in Alabama is rising. The reason is two-fold. People drive too fast and they don't use common sense. The Taking Back The Highway program is designed to remind people that speeding kills.
Don't complain to me about your ticket! I think taking back the highway is a great idea. In fact, I'm glad you got a ticket for doing 90. If the trooper had more time, maybe he could write you another one for reckless driving since you were three inches off the back bumper of the car in front. But he has to go. Someone else is always going 95.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
My Three Cents-Immigration and My Trip To The Restaurant!
Most people put in their two cents, but I'm a big guy. That combined with inflation means the two cents people weigh in is now up to three cents.
There's a dirty little secret in this country about illegal immigration. Not many people want to address it. It's one of those, are we going to ignore the 800 pound elephant in the room, arguments.
Many North Alabamians rail against illegal immigration. They want a fence on the nation's southern border with armed guards pointing their weapons at any illegal who tries to cross.
Recently, I talked to a friend whose husband installs sheet rock. It's hard for him to compete. Businesses who employ illegal aliens consistently turn in the low bid for a job.
Those companies that employ cheap labor from south of the border are not owned by illegals. The business, in almost every case, is owned by a U.S. citizen who understands that the financial bottom line is greatly enhanced by hiring illegals.
Frequently, those are the people who listen to talk show hosts rail against illegal immigration.
They're the same people who think something should be done about illegal immigration, but only after they've made their money.
I ate at my favorite barbecue restaurant last night. There was a man cleaning off tables who clearly could not speak English. Not a word. A group of people finishing up their meal was amused about this Hispanic man not understanding the language in Huntsville.
"You can take my plate now."
"Uh huh," he said quietly. He moved on to the next table without taking the plate.
The conversation, which I did eavesdrop on, turned serious.
"Someone has to do something to keep those people out."
Illegal immigration bothered them. But not enough to make them eat somewhere else.
That is the part of illegal immigration no one wants to talk about. United States citizens will support a business that employs illegal immigrants if they like the food, want the sheet rock put on their house cheaply, want the yard mowed, the roof put on at a bargain, a ditch dug, a driveway paved, a monument put up at a church, their groceries carried to the car, their dishes washed, the dog walked, or the fruit picked.
Then they listen to Rush or Hannity and shout at the radio.
"That's the way Rush. Go get them. You tell them. Illegal immigrants are killing this country."
They want the fence built on the border. But they want their "good deal" first.
As always, tell me what you think. My email is greg.screws@whnt.com
The morning show on WHNT cranks up at 5 a.m. and stops at 8 a.m. We would love for you to watch!
There's a dirty little secret in this country about illegal immigration. Not many people want to address it. It's one of those, are we going to ignore the 800 pound elephant in the room, arguments.
Many North Alabamians rail against illegal immigration. They want a fence on the nation's southern border with armed guards pointing their weapons at any illegal who tries to cross.
Recently, I talked to a friend whose husband installs sheet rock. It's hard for him to compete. Businesses who employ illegal aliens consistently turn in the low bid for a job.
Those companies that employ cheap labor from south of the border are not owned by illegals. The business, in almost every case, is owned by a U.S. citizen who understands that the financial bottom line is greatly enhanced by hiring illegals.
Frequently, those are the people who listen to talk show hosts rail against illegal immigration.
They're the same people who think something should be done about illegal immigration, but only after they've made their money.
I ate at my favorite barbecue restaurant last night. There was a man cleaning off tables who clearly could not speak English. Not a word. A group of people finishing up their meal was amused about this Hispanic man not understanding the language in Huntsville.
"You can take my plate now."
"Uh huh," he said quietly. He moved on to the next table without taking the plate.
The conversation, which I did eavesdrop on, turned serious.
"Someone has to do something to keep those people out."
Illegal immigration bothered them. But not enough to make them eat somewhere else.
That is the part of illegal immigration no one wants to talk about. United States citizens will support a business that employs illegal immigrants if they like the food, want the sheet rock put on their house cheaply, want the yard mowed, the roof put on at a bargain, a ditch dug, a driveway paved, a monument put up at a church, their groceries carried to the car, their dishes washed, the dog walked, or the fruit picked.
Then they listen to Rush or Hannity and shout at the radio.
"That's the way Rush. Go get them. You tell them. Illegal immigrants are killing this country."
They want the fence built on the border. But they want their "good deal" first.
As always, tell me what you think. My email is greg.screws@whnt.com
The morning show on WHNT cranks up at 5 a.m. and stops at 8 a.m. We would love for you to watch!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
The President, Conspiracy Theories, and Things I Want To Do
The President's visit was a mixed bag. Whether there's a Republican or a Democrat in the White House, it's always interesting to have a front row seat to see the most powerful person in the world.
For just a few hours, President Bush got away from low approval ratings and the war.
Or so he thought.
The day Bush was in town, the paper had an interesting front page. On the right side of the page was the "President is coming to town" article.
On the left side was a huge headline reading, "IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING" with a soldier's picture jammed between the two articles.
The story was about some local soldiers who had driven through a very dangerous section of Tikrit to conduct a training mission with Iraqi soldiers. They arrived safely only to be stood up by the Iraqi soldiers...hence the headline.
I did think it was interesting how the President and his administration refer to "the planet."
President Bush doesn't not talk about global warming. He doesn't because everyone knows that if you believe in global warming, you are a liberal, left leaning, card carrying PETA member who hates America.
You can, however, be concerned and believe in "climate change." The President regularly preaches his concern for climate change and says that we need to be ready to work diligently for a solution. He is concerned about climate change and not global warming.
'Cause only liberals like Al Gore believe in global warming. Conservatives are concerned about
climate change.
Speaking of Gore....and an "Inconvenient Truth".....
Look Al, next time your hungry, reach for an apple or a banana and skip the Bugles and Doritos. An inconvenient truth is that you and I both need to hit the treadmill more often.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your favorite conspiracy theory? When the President comes to your town, the Secret Service mandates that you are in a specific place by a specific time. Usually that means you get to your spot two hours in advance and stay there. So, there is plenty of time for plenty of discussion about anything.
My favorite conspiracy theory is the 2000 election, but it's not what you think.
Mine is that the Republican party did "something" for Ralph Nader. Nader got 95,000 votes in Florida and Bush won by 537 votes. I don't think Nader ran to make a statement or to give people a third option.
Another one...in sports.
The NBA rigged the draft lottery so that the New York Knicks could get Patrick Ewing.
Love that one and knowing the way sports can work, I don't doubt it.
Junior winning at Daytona in July after his dad was killed there in February is a good one.
Don't know...but at a restrictor plate track, when you hit the gas and pull away from the draft,
that tells me something is a little different.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things I Want To Do:
1) Be on Oprah after she recommends by book.
2) Accept my Tony Award for best play from David Letterman.
3) Go on a two week trip down the Colorado River.
4) Throw out the first pitch at Wrigley.
5) Throw out the first beer at Wrigley.
6) Pick out my very own blue healer to run around with in the back yard.
7) Do stand-up and KILL the crowd.
8) Wake up by the beach....everyday.
9) Win The Lottery. Give almost all of it away.
10) Win a World Series of Poker bracelet.
More later I'm sure.
For just a few hours, President Bush got away from low approval ratings and the war.
Or so he thought.
The day Bush was in town, the paper had an interesting front page. On the right side of the page was the "President is coming to town" article.
On the left side was a huge headline reading, "IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING" with a soldier's picture jammed between the two articles.
The story was about some local soldiers who had driven through a very dangerous section of Tikrit to conduct a training mission with Iraqi soldiers. They arrived safely only to be stood up by the Iraqi soldiers...hence the headline.
I did think it was interesting how the President and his administration refer to "the planet."
President Bush doesn't not talk about global warming. He doesn't because everyone knows that if you believe in global warming, you are a liberal, left leaning, card carrying PETA member who hates America.
You can, however, be concerned and believe in "climate change." The President regularly preaches his concern for climate change and says that we need to be ready to work diligently for a solution. He is concerned about climate change and not global warming.
'Cause only liberals like Al Gore believe in global warming. Conservatives are concerned about
climate change.
Speaking of Gore....and an "Inconvenient Truth".....
Look Al, next time your hungry, reach for an apple or a banana and skip the Bugles and Doritos. An inconvenient truth is that you and I both need to hit the treadmill more often.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your favorite conspiracy theory? When the President comes to your town, the Secret Service mandates that you are in a specific place by a specific time. Usually that means you get to your spot two hours in advance and stay there. So, there is plenty of time for plenty of discussion about anything.
My favorite conspiracy theory is the 2000 election, but it's not what you think.
Mine is that the Republican party did "something" for Ralph Nader. Nader got 95,000 votes in Florida and Bush won by 537 votes. I don't think Nader ran to make a statement or to give people a third option.
Another one...in sports.
The NBA rigged the draft lottery so that the New York Knicks could get Patrick Ewing.
Love that one and knowing the way sports can work, I don't doubt it.
Junior winning at Daytona in July after his dad was killed there in February is a good one.
Don't know...but at a restrictor plate track, when you hit the gas and pull away from the draft,
that tells me something is a little different.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things I Want To Do:
1) Be on Oprah after she recommends by book.
2) Accept my Tony Award for best play from David Letterman.
3) Go on a two week trip down the Colorado River.
4) Throw out the first pitch at Wrigley.
5) Throw out the first beer at Wrigley.
6) Pick out my very own blue healer to run around with in the back yard.
7) Do stand-up and KILL the crowd.
8) Wake up by the beach....everyday.
9) Win The Lottery. Give almost all of it away.
10) Win a World Series of Poker bracelet.
More later I'm sure.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Three Things: Selmer, The Shuffle, and Emily
Sorry....again real life gets in the way.
1) Selmer, TN.
A drag racer doing a burnout on a street...not a race track...lost control of his Pro Mod car and plowed into a crowd killing six people over the weekend.
There is always a point in just about anything that goes wrong where someone should have raised their hand and said "that is a bad idea."
Clearly this was one of those times. Putting a 3,000 horsepower capable of chewing up asphalt was dangerous at the least and, as you can see, deadly at the worst.
The driver did his burnout too far. He was on a public street with no adhesive material, which is put on drag strips to make the tires stick. They may have held that event for years with no problems, but they were lucky.
2) I joined part of the 21st century over the Father's Day weekend. I got an I-Pod Shuffle. Capable of holding 500 songs I'm told. Aerosmith, Springsteen, and a liberal sprinkling of
metal will be on my "shuffle." Not sure what I would do with those I-Pod's that can hold 15,000 songs. Vic Camp and I used to pay $4.99 for Bad Company albums at Funland Records in Decatur. Now 50 bucks will get you 500 songs....and earplugs to I can tune the world out.
Is this a great country or what!
3) Emily got me a tie for Father's Day. She also bought me some cologne. But here is the best part! She got mad when I paid for lunch on Father's Day. The check was supposed to be hers! Maybe that is the sign a kid is growing up! My dad has paid for every restuarant meal we've both attended since 1982.
Promise to be more consistent with posts. Thanks for being patient.
GS
1) Selmer, TN.
A drag racer doing a burnout on a street...not a race track...lost control of his Pro Mod car and plowed into a crowd killing six people over the weekend.
There is always a point in just about anything that goes wrong where someone should have raised their hand and said "that is a bad idea."
Clearly this was one of those times. Putting a 3,000 horsepower capable of chewing up asphalt was dangerous at the least and, as you can see, deadly at the worst.
The driver did his burnout too far. He was on a public street with no adhesive material, which is put on drag strips to make the tires stick. They may have held that event for years with no problems, but they were lucky.
2) I joined part of the 21st century over the Father's Day weekend. I got an I-Pod Shuffle. Capable of holding 500 songs I'm told. Aerosmith, Springsteen, and a liberal sprinkling of
metal will be on my "shuffle." Not sure what I would do with those I-Pod's that can hold 15,000 songs. Vic Camp and I used to pay $4.99 for Bad Company albums at Funland Records in Decatur. Now 50 bucks will get you 500 songs....and earplugs to I can tune the world out.
Is this a great country or what!
3) Emily got me a tie for Father's Day. She also bought me some cologne. But here is the best part! She got mad when I paid for lunch on Father's Day. The check was supposed to be hers! Maybe that is the sign a kid is growing up! My dad has paid for every restuarant meal we've both attended since 1982.
Promise to be more consistent with posts. Thanks for being patient.
GS
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
My Three Cents...The Queen, Graduations, and Jerry Hayes
Again, real life is getting in the way of writing....sorry for being away so long.
My schedule is in severe need of tweaking. Maybe winning the lottery would help.
My alarm goes off at 2...i shoot to get here at 2:30. (If the boss is reading this, I am NEVER late. If everyone else on the morning shift is reading this...stop laughing.)
So, let's try a different approach...maybe three things every day that get my attention.
So with that in mind...
1) The Queen and The Royal Herd...I mean Family.
What did you think of Queen Elizabeth's visit to the United States? She visited the Kentucky Derby and seemed to love it. It is always funny to me how the televising network handles the coverage. They show all the rich people and the horse owners in the stands. They make it seem like a regal and elegant gathering. Maybe one fit for a Queen. But in reality, it's more like Talladega. There is a 100 thousand people in the infield...mostly drunk and some offering up human sacrifices. Showing a few women with bad fashion taste and silly hats
makes better television than a thriving, boiling mass of drunk infield party animals. Well...at least the network does. Maybe MTV needs to carry the Kentucky Derby.
Wished I had been there.
Here is my problem with The Queen and the Royal Herd. I'm not sure that any of them have an IQ of more than 80 or so...I mean seriously...that gene pool is pretty shallow isn't it.
They are sort of the human equivalent of a cocker spaniel kennel.
Best example of that is Prince Charles. Here is a guy that has the best pickup line to meet women in the history of the world.
"Hello. I'm going to be the King of England someday."
And with that in mind, let me introduce you to Camilla Parker-Bowles (who finished seventh in the derby by the way).
A guy that could pick up the phone and meet any woman in the world...Elle McPherson, Halle Berry, Claudia Schiffer, Catherine Zeta-Jones before she married Grandpa Moses...but he picks Camilla Parker-Bowles. It must be love.
2) Graduation
My sister's daughter graduated from UNA last week. Hard to believe where two decades went.
I love graduation addresses. People trying to speak to graduates who just want to get out and go party. I would love to give a graduation address. My life advice would be a little different. Guidance you can really use. For example...
1) Don't abuse your credit cards. Chances are one day you will find yourself working for someone who doesn't have a clue, and has a mean streak. If you are smart with money and can take control of your financial future, you can tell them to take a hike if they ask you to do something illegal or immoral or both.
2) Don't pet a dog that isn't wagging it's tail. That goes for people as well as K-9's.
3) Read more.
4) One more television in the house probably isn't a great idea.
5) Be positive. Always. Don't let the "Fellowship of the Miserable"...the people who complain and whine all day pull you down. With that in mind, don't listen to talk radio. Unless it's Dave Ramsey.
6) You may complain about going to your kids game after a long workday. But you will miss it when they stop playing.
7) Call your kids every day.
8) Play the music loud. I love being "over 40" and playing Toys In The Attic loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Just turn it down at red lights. You could get a ticket from an officer who hates Toys In The Attic.
9) Money won't buy you happiness. But it will buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right next to it. Try to do something you love, but you do have to pay the power bill.
and if you think all of that is crap....then do the following:
10) Marry someone rich.
3) Jerry Hayes
Jerry spent a few days in Las Vegas covering the Academy of Country Music Awards.
He fit right in with country music royalty. (Country Music Royalty! I would hang out with them. Hi Martina...Hi Faith...Hi Carrie...Hi Sarah)
Anyway....
Jerry, and don't tell him I said this, has a crush on Sarah Evans. So if you see Jerry, tell him Sarah is calling soon. If you see Sarah, tell her to call Jerry. If you see me, tell me to tell Jerry to quit buying clip-on ties and maybe Sarah will call.
Seriously...Jerry is so cool. He fit right in on the "orange carpet" at the awards. Looked like he could take that guy's place in Brooks and Dunn with the mustache. Hmmm.....
Ya know...you never see them both in the same place.
Later. Three more things tomorrow.
My schedule is in severe need of tweaking. Maybe winning the lottery would help.
My alarm goes off at 2...i shoot to get here at 2:30. (If the boss is reading this, I am NEVER late. If everyone else on the morning shift is reading this...stop laughing.)
So, let's try a different approach...maybe three things every day that get my attention.
So with that in mind...
1) The Queen and The Royal Herd...I mean Family.
What did you think of Queen Elizabeth's visit to the United States? She visited the Kentucky Derby and seemed to love it. It is always funny to me how the televising network handles the coverage. They show all the rich people and the horse owners in the stands. They make it seem like a regal and elegant gathering. Maybe one fit for a Queen. But in reality, it's more like Talladega. There is a 100 thousand people in the infield...mostly drunk and some offering up human sacrifices. Showing a few women with bad fashion taste and silly hats
makes better television than a thriving, boiling mass of drunk infield party animals. Well...at least the network does. Maybe MTV needs to carry the Kentucky Derby.
Wished I had been there.
Here is my problem with The Queen and the Royal Herd. I'm not sure that any of them have an IQ of more than 80 or so...I mean seriously...that gene pool is pretty shallow isn't it.
They are sort of the human equivalent of a cocker spaniel kennel.
Best example of that is Prince Charles. Here is a guy that has the best pickup line to meet women in the history of the world.
"Hello. I'm going to be the King of England someday."
And with that in mind, let me introduce you to Camilla Parker-Bowles (who finished seventh in the derby by the way).
A guy that could pick up the phone and meet any woman in the world...Elle McPherson, Halle Berry, Claudia Schiffer, Catherine Zeta-Jones before she married Grandpa Moses...but he picks Camilla Parker-Bowles. It must be love.
2) Graduation
My sister's daughter graduated from UNA last week. Hard to believe where two decades went.
I love graduation addresses. People trying to speak to graduates who just want to get out and go party. I would love to give a graduation address. My life advice would be a little different. Guidance you can really use. For example...
1) Don't abuse your credit cards. Chances are one day you will find yourself working for someone who doesn't have a clue, and has a mean streak. If you are smart with money and can take control of your financial future, you can tell them to take a hike if they ask you to do something illegal or immoral or both.
2) Don't pet a dog that isn't wagging it's tail. That goes for people as well as K-9's.
3) Read more.
4) One more television in the house probably isn't a great idea.
5) Be positive. Always. Don't let the "Fellowship of the Miserable"...the people who complain and whine all day pull you down. With that in mind, don't listen to talk radio. Unless it's Dave Ramsey.
6) You may complain about going to your kids game after a long workday. But you will miss it when they stop playing.
7) Call your kids every day.
8) Play the music loud. I love being "over 40" and playing Toys In The Attic loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Just turn it down at red lights. You could get a ticket from an officer who hates Toys In The Attic.
9) Money won't buy you happiness. But it will buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right next to it. Try to do something you love, but you do have to pay the power bill.
and if you think all of that is crap....then do the following:
10) Marry someone rich.
3) Jerry Hayes
Jerry spent a few days in Las Vegas covering the Academy of Country Music Awards.
He fit right in with country music royalty. (Country Music Royalty! I would hang out with them. Hi Martina...Hi Faith...Hi Carrie...Hi Sarah)
Anyway....
Jerry, and don't tell him I said this, has a crush on Sarah Evans. So if you see Jerry, tell him Sarah is calling soon. If you see Sarah, tell her to call Jerry. If you see me, tell me to tell Jerry to quit buying clip-on ties and maybe Sarah will call.
Seriously...Jerry is so cool. He fit right in on the "orange carpet" at the awards. Looked like he could take that guy's place in Brooks and Dunn with the mustache. Hmmm.....
Ya know...you never see them both in the same place.
Later. Three more things tomorrow.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
SEVEN BLANKIN' MINUTES!
Sorry for the delay in blogging....as I am prone to say sometimes, real life gets in the way of things I like to, one of which is to write.
After the last post about taking Emily to the theatre, I received some emails and phone calls about a few more Emily stories. Some are more infamous than others.
First of all...Emily was the easiest kid in the world to raise. She didn't give me or her mother ten minutes of trouble growing up. Super smart and super mature.
With that in mind...another Emily story.
--------------------------------------
SEVEN BLANKIN' MINUTES
Emily played AAU basketball from age 10 till she was 18. She wasn't as physically gifted as many of the players she competed against. But she did her best and was a much better player
than she gives herself credit for being.
When she was 16, she began playing for a man name McRae Benefield and his team called the Alabama Lady Cats. McRae is one of those guys that you get lucky when your kids play for them. Great guy. Great coach.
He put together a very good team with sharp kids who did, for the most part, what he wanted them to do on the basketball court. They won many tournaments and beat some of the best teams in the country.
They played in the finals of the Alabama Sports Festival in July of 2003 at UAH. They steamrolled several teams on the way to the finals as did a team from Mobile in the other half of the bracket.
The team from Mobile had a great team. They pressured the ball 94 feet and had great talent.
We had our hands full but knew if we stayed with the game plan, we could win.
For 33 minutes we had the lead, but made some tough turnovers and the Cats were down three points with seven minutes to go in the game. At that point, Mobile's coach did, what turned out to be, one of the most monumentally stupid things I have ever seen a coach do.
His team had a three point lead and momentum. His star point guard had the ball and he yelled "Four Corners! Four Corners!" And then he yelled..."THIS GAME IS OVER! THIS GAME IS OVER!"
With seven minutes still left in the game, the other team's coach had declared the game over with just a three point lead. I was keeping the official time and was enraged. When Em played, I kept the book whenever I could. Kept me calm. But this time, I was just monumentally ticked off that a coach could just up and openly taunt an opposing team like that.
His team stood there. Clock ticking. The point guard just held the ball.
He was walking up and down the sideline....
"YEAH, THIS GAME'S OVER."
I wasn't the only person mad. So was Emily. She was on the Mobile coach's side of the court.
When she had all she could take, she started walking towards him and said, "HEY! THERE IS SEVEN @$%$# MINUTES LEFT IN THIS GAME. DO YOU HEAR ME? THERE IS SEVEN &%#%$ MINUTES LEFT IN THIS GAME!"
The coach was stunned. Didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do but look in the stands to see what Mama from the other team I was going to have to fight to get out of the building.
After the coach got his composure back, he started jawing at Emily who had resumed her defensive position on the floor.
In the next seven minutes, the Alabama Lady Cats outscored the Mobile team 18-3 and won by 12. Great game that should have had an asterisk by it which stood for....*Emily gets one assist for reminding the world that the game isn't over until the clock hits zero.
I miss Em's games. But I doubt she does. Em had severe knee issues that prevented her from
playing at the highest level she could play. Many nights she would go to sleep with ice bags taped to her legs and knees. She paid the price in pain while I just miss the game.
Great kid. Not many like her.
After the last post about taking Emily to the theatre, I received some emails and phone calls about a few more Emily stories. Some are more infamous than others.
First of all...Emily was the easiest kid in the world to raise. She didn't give me or her mother ten minutes of trouble growing up. Super smart and super mature.
With that in mind...another Emily story.
--------------------------------------
SEVEN BLANKIN' MINUTES
Emily played AAU basketball from age 10 till she was 18. She wasn't as physically gifted as many of the players she competed against. But she did her best and was a much better player
than she gives herself credit for being.
When she was 16, she began playing for a man name McRae Benefield and his team called the Alabama Lady Cats. McRae is one of those guys that you get lucky when your kids play for them. Great guy. Great coach.
He put together a very good team with sharp kids who did, for the most part, what he wanted them to do on the basketball court. They won many tournaments and beat some of the best teams in the country.
They played in the finals of the Alabama Sports Festival in July of 2003 at UAH. They steamrolled several teams on the way to the finals as did a team from Mobile in the other half of the bracket.
The team from Mobile had a great team. They pressured the ball 94 feet and had great talent.
We had our hands full but knew if we stayed with the game plan, we could win.
For 33 minutes we had the lead, but made some tough turnovers and the Cats were down three points with seven minutes to go in the game. At that point, Mobile's coach did, what turned out to be, one of the most monumentally stupid things I have ever seen a coach do.
His team had a three point lead and momentum. His star point guard had the ball and he yelled "Four Corners! Four Corners!" And then he yelled..."THIS GAME IS OVER! THIS GAME IS OVER!"
With seven minutes still left in the game, the other team's coach had declared the game over with just a three point lead. I was keeping the official time and was enraged. When Em played, I kept the book whenever I could. Kept me calm. But this time, I was just monumentally ticked off that a coach could just up and openly taunt an opposing team like that.
His team stood there. Clock ticking. The point guard just held the ball.
He was walking up and down the sideline....
"YEAH, THIS GAME'S OVER."
I wasn't the only person mad. So was Emily. She was on the Mobile coach's side of the court.
When she had all she could take, she started walking towards him and said, "HEY! THERE IS SEVEN @$%$# MINUTES LEFT IN THIS GAME. DO YOU HEAR ME? THERE IS SEVEN &%#%$ MINUTES LEFT IN THIS GAME!"
The coach was stunned. Didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do but look in the stands to see what Mama from the other team I was going to have to fight to get out of the building.
After the coach got his composure back, he started jawing at Emily who had resumed her defensive position on the floor.
In the next seven minutes, the Alabama Lady Cats outscored the Mobile team 18-3 and won by 12. Great game that should have had an asterisk by it which stood for....*Emily gets one assist for reminding the world that the game isn't over until the clock hits zero.
I miss Em's games. But I doubt she does. Em had severe knee issues that prevented her from
playing at the highest level she could play. Many nights she would go to sleep with ice bags taped to her legs and knees. She paid the price in pain while I just miss the game.
Great kid. Not many like her.
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Really Nice People At The Broadway Theatre League
Ok...it's not THEE-ater as we used to call it in Hartselle, Alabama growing up.
It's thea-ter. Just ignore the re and pretend it's er.
The really nice people at The Broadway Theatre League here in Huntsville have slapped a sponsorship banner on my blog. I really appreciate that so much....and in their honor, I have a story about taking my daughter Emily to the "thea-ter."
Emily is 21 now. Hard to believe they grow up so fast. Really fast. One day they are in diapers and the next day they want to know the quickest way to get from downtown Atlanta to those places where they sell the fancy designer purses in Buckhead.
But that is another story and I digress.
As a little kid, Emily was a regular at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. Early on, she watched plays presented by ASF and did great. Some kids can't be still for any length of time. Emily sat through and enjoyed everything from A Midsummer Nights Dream to Death of A Salesman.
But taking her to her first full-blown Shakespeare production did cause a bit of concern and
"pre-play planning." She was about 3 1/2 when plans were made to take her to see Twelfth
Night. Or as she used to call it...Twelve Nights Tonight.
We had a game plan going into the main stage at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. We were
third-row center and I was concerned that a 3 hours Shakespeare play...even a funny...one might be too much for a kid as young as Emily.
So I prepared Emily as much as possible. The big advice was "if you need to tell me something, just pat me on the arm and leg and let me know what you want."
Now, the crowd on Sunday afternoon at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival was a little different than other showtimes. On Saturday night, ticket holders had been to dinner, had some drinks, and were ready for a show. The crowd was young, old, and engaged in the evening's entertainment.
The Sunday matinee crowd was the Montgomery Country Club church crowd. They walked into the air-conditioned theatre having just had a huge lunch. That meant that at about 2:30, they were all asleep no matter how good the play was being produced and acted.
This was the case when I took Emily to see Twelve Nights Tonight. We were the only two people in the first four rows of the center section that were awake.
About 45 minutes into the play for Emily and 30 minutes into nap time for everyone else, I felt a little pat on my leg. I looked down at Emily and whispered...."yes, Em?"
She leaned up and said..."DAD, CAN I TAKE OFF MY HAIR BOW? IT'S HURTING MY HEAD."
I forgot to tell her to whisper. Emily had jarred the first two rows awake....and I kept waiting for the actors to say, "BY ALL MEANS LITTLE GIRL, TAKE OFF YOUR HAIR BOW!"
The guy in the yellow tights playing Malvolio I swear started to laugh. But then he realized he
was wearing yellow tights and probably decided laughing at anyone was probably not a good idea.
Love the Shakespeare Festival. Love the Broadway Theatre League as well!
It's thea-ter. Just ignore the re and pretend it's er.
The really nice people at The Broadway Theatre League here in Huntsville have slapped a sponsorship banner on my blog. I really appreciate that so much....and in their honor, I have a story about taking my daughter Emily to the "thea-ter."
Emily is 21 now. Hard to believe they grow up so fast. Really fast. One day they are in diapers and the next day they want to know the quickest way to get from downtown Atlanta to those places where they sell the fancy designer purses in Buckhead.
But that is another story and I digress.
As a little kid, Emily was a regular at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. Early on, she watched plays presented by ASF and did great. Some kids can't be still for any length of time. Emily sat through and enjoyed everything from A Midsummer Nights Dream to Death of A Salesman.
But taking her to her first full-blown Shakespeare production did cause a bit of concern and
"pre-play planning." She was about 3 1/2 when plans were made to take her to see Twelfth
Night. Or as she used to call it...Twelve Nights Tonight.
We had a game plan going into the main stage at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. We were
third-row center and I was concerned that a 3 hours Shakespeare play...even a funny...one might be too much for a kid as young as Emily.
So I prepared Emily as much as possible. The big advice was "if you need to tell me something, just pat me on the arm and leg and let me know what you want."
Now, the crowd on Sunday afternoon at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival was a little different than other showtimes. On Saturday night, ticket holders had been to dinner, had some drinks, and were ready for a show. The crowd was young, old, and engaged in the evening's entertainment.
The Sunday matinee crowd was the Montgomery Country Club church crowd. They walked into the air-conditioned theatre having just had a huge lunch. That meant that at about 2:30, they were all asleep no matter how good the play was being produced and acted.
This was the case when I took Emily to see Twelve Nights Tonight. We were the only two people in the first four rows of the center section that were awake.
About 45 minutes into the play for Emily and 30 minutes into nap time for everyone else, I felt a little pat on my leg. I looked down at Emily and whispered...."yes, Em?"
She leaned up and said..."DAD, CAN I TAKE OFF MY HAIR BOW? IT'S HURTING MY HEAD."
I forgot to tell her to whisper. Emily had jarred the first two rows awake....and I kept waiting for the actors to say, "BY ALL MEANS LITTLE GIRL, TAKE OFF YOUR HAIR BOW!"
The guy in the yellow tights playing Malvolio I swear started to laugh. But then he realized he
was wearing yellow tights and probably decided laughing at anyone was probably not a good idea.
Love the Shakespeare Festival. Love the Broadway Theatre League as well!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Officiating and Immigration
The preacher sitting behind me had the whole row laughing early in the game. Alabama was rolling pretty good ahead of Kentucky by double-digits.
But when Kentucky made the game tight, the preacher lost his religion for several minutes.
He went from "THE GOOD LORD LOVES GOOD BASKETBALL" to "YOU #%$@ BLIND BAT ZEBRA, I KNOW WHAT I'M PREACHING ABOUT TOMORROW! WHO IN THE #%#$ TAUGHT YOU HOW TO CALL A BASKETBALL GAME" in the time it takes to lose a lead in a SEC basketball game.
The speed with which the good preacher lost his good humor was directly proportional to Alabama losing it's lead.
Bama finally won and all was right with the world and also the Sunday sermon. But it did remind me of something I've learned after covering sports since 1981 and my daughter playing
AAU basketball at a high level for 10 years.
It is a myth that fans want a fairly called ballgame. Fans in the stands don't want an evenly called game or officials who blow the whistle fairly and squarely.
They want a break. They want an advantage. Don't say the home team fouled. It's the zebra's fault. At the end of the day, it's about winning at all cost and if the officials help us, so be it.
I can see the e-mails now. Jasper from Jasper will write...."Greg, most fans want the officials to do a good job with a sense of fair play."
Yeah....and I'm the King of England.
----------------------------------------
Immigration and the Liberal Media...Well, sure the media are liberal aren't they?
Got an e-mail from a really angry guy named John. Says we are just another liberal media
outlet who ignores important issues like illegal immigration. And because we do, he says, that makes us liberals in bed with other liberal media outlets.
I love the conservative/liberal media debate. Just like the officiating in a basketball game...(see above)...people seek out what they want reinforced and try to discredit what they don't want to hear.
Also, people don't want tough questions asked of leaders they support. But that is what we do.
We ask tough questions. And we expect honest answers. If we don't get those, we tend to get a little irritable.
You want to know why a national correspondent gets a little chippy during an interview. It's because at any given point in the day, someone is trying to mislead him or her.
Be glad that we live in a country where the media are tough. In fact, I sometimes don't think the media are tough enough in Washington, DC. We're lucky. I doubt that any reporter is shouting questions at the guy in Iran.
Back to John and his questioning of illegal immigration coverage....
Every time I turn on my television, there is coverage about how people feel and how the country should react to illegal immigrants.
But I think the dirty little secret on illegal immigration is that there is a significant segment
of the business world that wants nothing done about it. Illegal immigrants are a very cheap and reliable source of labor. As long as that pool exists, and business interests weigh in on the political process, I don't see much changing.
One of the smartest people I have ever met in my life said this today...
"Most controversial issues don't have just two sides... there are usually many dimensions to a controversial story."
Illegal immigration is no different that any other complicated issue that affects our time and out life.
It's like speeding, cheating on your taxes, and wanting a "fairly" officiated basketball game.
It's a "I can do it and I don't want you to do it world" that we live in daily.
More later......
But when Kentucky made the game tight, the preacher lost his religion for several minutes.
He went from "THE GOOD LORD LOVES GOOD BASKETBALL" to "YOU #%$@ BLIND BAT ZEBRA, I KNOW WHAT I'M PREACHING ABOUT TOMORROW! WHO IN THE #%#$ TAUGHT YOU HOW TO CALL A BASKETBALL GAME" in the time it takes to lose a lead in a SEC basketball game.
The speed with which the good preacher lost his good humor was directly proportional to Alabama losing it's lead.
Bama finally won and all was right with the world and also the Sunday sermon. But it did remind me of something I've learned after covering sports since 1981 and my daughter playing
AAU basketball at a high level for 10 years.
It is a myth that fans want a fairly called ballgame. Fans in the stands don't want an evenly called game or officials who blow the whistle fairly and squarely.
They want a break. They want an advantage. Don't say the home team fouled. It's the zebra's fault. At the end of the day, it's about winning at all cost and if the officials help us, so be it.
I can see the e-mails now. Jasper from Jasper will write...."Greg, most fans want the officials to do a good job with a sense of fair play."
Yeah....and I'm the King of England.
----------------------------------------
Immigration and the Liberal Media...Well, sure the media are liberal aren't they?
Got an e-mail from a really angry guy named John. Says we are just another liberal media
outlet who ignores important issues like illegal immigration. And because we do, he says, that makes us liberals in bed with other liberal media outlets.
I love the conservative/liberal media debate. Just like the officiating in a basketball game...(see above)...people seek out what they want reinforced and try to discredit what they don't want to hear.
Also, people don't want tough questions asked of leaders they support. But that is what we do.
We ask tough questions. And we expect honest answers. If we don't get those, we tend to get a little irritable.
You want to know why a national correspondent gets a little chippy during an interview. It's because at any given point in the day, someone is trying to mislead him or her.
Be glad that we live in a country where the media are tough. In fact, I sometimes don't think the media are tough enough in Washington, DC. We're lucky. I doubt that any reporter is shouting questions at the guy in Iran.
Back to John and his questioning of illegal immigration coverage....
Every time I turn on my television, there is coverage about how people feel and how the country should react to illegal immigrants.
But I think the dirty little secret on illegal immigration is that there is a significant segment
of the business world that wants nothing done about it. Illegal immigrants are a very cheap and reliable source of labor. As long as that pool exists, and business interests weigh in on the political process, I don't see much changing.
One of the smartest people I have ever met in my life said this today...
"Most controversial issues don't have just two sides... there are usually many dimensions to a controversial story."
Illegal immigration is no different that any other complicated issue that affects our time and out life.
It's like speeding, cheating on your taxes, and wanting a "fairly" officiated basketball game.
It's a "I can do it and I don't want you to do it world" that we live in daily.
More later......
JetBlue
A few things that caught my attention.....
JET BLUE
Imagine for a second that your getting on a plane. Taking your seat. Getting comfortable and it's 8 a.m. You find out from a hard-working flight attendant the flight is delayed. Well, that beach in Florida will still be there when you get there. Or....It's Valentine's Day and you can't wait to see the person who you can't live without.
9 a.m.
Read the magazines on the plane.
10 a.m.
They give you water and some of those pretzels.
11 a.m.
Noon.
They give you more water and pretzels. Hope you enjoyed them. The plane is all out of food.
1 p.m.
It's hot in the plane and the flight attendants....hard working flight attendants...finally open a door to let some air in the plane.
2 p.m.
No more food and water.
3 p.m.
Are there more magazines?
4 p.m.
Hey! They open the door again to let some air in the plane.
It's been eight hours and you ask to leave the plane.
JetBlue won't let you off the plane. If you try to get your family off the plane and back to where there is food and water, they will have you arrested.
5 p.m.
6 p.m.
No, you can't get off the plane. Sorry. I know you are a U.S. citizen and you are being held against your will for nine hours, but if you try and get off the plane, you will be arrested. Restrained possibly. But you cannot get off the plane.
7 p.m.
Someone at JetBlue finally comes to their senses and has the plane return to the terminal.
Ten hours.
You sat on the plane ten hours and they wouldn't let you off. People wonder why the government gets involved in the things they do. The JetBlue situation is why.
JetBlue says they are going to put $20 to $30 million dollars up to reimburse travelers
who are "inconvenienced" by the weather delays. In fact, they have come up with a
"Consumer Bill of Rights." That's good. When you hold people against their will for ten hours with little food, water, and two port-a-johns pretending to be airplane toilets, it's good to know that some marketing person with JetBlue got a committee together and came up with a flow chart, mission statement, and a feel-good document to e-mail to all that will fall for it.
Good thing. Someone probably should have been led off in handcuffs and taken to jail for letting a plane with real people sit on a tarmac or at the gate for ten hours.
Most people don't want the government to get involved and solve a problem with private business. But when you callously treat people with contempt and disrespect in the manner that JetBlue did, you open the door for actions you don't anticipate. Like the government ringing your doorbell.
It's too bad really this happened to JetBlue. JetBlue is a discount carrier that is trying it's best to make air travel affordable in the world of big carriers. The Valentine's Day weather debacle was a serious error on JetBlue's part, but one from which they can recover.
JET BLUE
Imagine for a second that your getting on a plane. Taking your seat. Getting comfortable and it's 8 a.m. You find out from a hard-working flight attendant the flight is delayed. Well, that beach in Florida will still be there when you get there. Or....It's Valentine's Day and you can't wait to see the person who you can't live without.
9 a.m.
Read the magazines on the plane.
10 a.m.
They give you water and some of those pretzels.
11 a.m.
Noon.
They give you more water and pretzels. Hope you enjoyed them. The plane is all out of food.
1 p.m.
It's hot in the plane and the flight attendants....hard working flight attendants...finally open a door to let some air in the plane.
2 p.m.
No more food and water.
3 p.m.
Are there more magazines?
4 p.m.
Hey! They open the door again to let some air in the plane.
It's been eight hours and you ask to leave the plane.
JetBlue won't let you off the plane. If you try to get your family off the plane and back to where there is food and water, they will have you arrested.
5 p.m.
6 p.m.
No, you can't get off the plane. Sorry. I know you are a U.S. citizen and you are being held against your will for nine hours, but if you try and get off the plane, you will be arrested. Restrained possibly. But you cannot get off the plane.
7 p.m.
Someone at JetBlue finally comes to their senses and has the plane return to the terminal.
Ten hours.
You sat on the plane ten hours and they wouldn't let you off. People wonder why the government gets involved in the things they do. The JetBlue situation is why.
JetBlue says they are going to put $20 to $30 million dollars up to reimburse travelers
who are "inconvenienced" by the weather delays. In fact, they have come up with a
"Consumer Bill of Rights." That's good. When you hold people against their will for ten hours with little food, water, and two port-a-johns pretending to be airplane toilets, it's good to know that some marketing person with JetBlue got a committee together and came up with a flow chart, mission statement, and a feel-good document to e-mail to all that will fall for it.
Good thing. Someone probably should have been led off in handcuffs and taken to jail for letting a plane with real people sit on a tarmac or at the gate for ten hours.
Most people don't want the government to get involved and solve a problem with private business. But when you callously treat people with contempt and disrespect in the manner that JetBlue did, you open the door for actions you don't anticipate. Like the government ringing your doorbell.
It's too bad really this happened to JetBlue. JetBlue is a discount carrier that is trying it's best to make air travel affordable in the world of big carriers. The Valentine's Day weather debacle was a serious error on JetBlue's part, but one from which they can recover.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Real Life Gets In the Way of a Blog
Welcome to February. Sorry...real life gets in the way of updating my blog.
Lot going on in my life in and out of work.
Several things....
Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby was in town Sunday. In one of those moments that I'm sure I will tell my friends about till I die, I got to spend some time chatting with him for a bit.
Cosby was very cordial, and very accommodating.
When he found out that my parent were retired school teachers, he had a thousand questions.
The importance of education has always been an important part of who Cosby is on a daily basis.
The funny thing that happened during the introduction....I went out and did my usual 3-4 minutes of extraordinary observations. Concluding, I said that I couldn't stay for the Cosby show because the police had found a piece of ice on the Parkway and I had to go to work.
Got a big laugh with that one. Last Friday, we went with "wall-to-wall" coverage when ice conditions forced the Parkway to close. So when Cosby came out, he wanted me to explain it to him.
"Mr. Cosby, when the wind blows a peach off a tree in Southern Tennesse, North Alabama gets shut down."
The crowd laughed again and Mr. Cosby sent me on my way.
*Anna Nicole Smith
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming.
Did I miss something? Did I miss the war ending? Did the troops come home? Are the wars over? Is gas still $2.10 a gallon? Did poverty end? Did homelessness end?
The amount of news given to Anna Nicole Smith's death was astounding and more than a little embarrassing. The national cable news outlets made her out to be a head of state.
For someone whose tombstone should read "Went Through Life Stoned," she got
coverage worthy of someone who actually made a contribution to society.
The person who cared the most however was probably doing back flips. The death of Anna Nicole Smith will keep Nancy Grace rolling for months.
Not me. I have a rule at home or at work. When I see an Anna Nicole Smith story, I pick up the remote and change channels. Makes me glad that we still carry Andy Griffith.
Valentine's Day
Ok guys...here is the deal. It's part of the "work smarter-not harder" mentality that I find
so hard to grasp.
Just get the wife or the girlfriend a spa gift certificate. Let her get the manicure, pedicure, or the massage and she will be thanking you for days. When the lady of the house gets to indulge herself, she rarely forgets it.
Lot going on in my life in and out of work.
Several things....
Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby was in town Sunday. In one of those moments that I'm sure I will tell my friends about till I die, I got to spend some time chatting with him for a bit.
Cosby was very cordial, and very accommodating.
When he found out that my parent were retired school teachers, he had a thousand questions.
The importance of education has always been an important part of who Cosby is on a daily basis.
The funny thing that happened during the introduction....I went out and did my usual 3-4 minutes of extraordinary observations. Concluding, I said that I couldn't stay for the Cosby show because the police had found a piece of ice on the Parkway and I had to go to work.
Got a big laugh with that one. Last Friday, we went with "wall-to-wall" coverage when ice conditions forced the Parkway to close. So when Cosby came out, he wanted me to explain it to him.
"Mr. Cosby, when the wind blows a peach off a tree in Southern Tennesse, North Alabama gets shut down."
The crowd laughed again and Mr. Cosby sent me on my way.
*Anna Nicole Smith
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming.
Did I miss something? Did I miss the war ending? Did the troops come home? Are the wars over? Is gas still $2.10 a gallon? Did poverty end? Did homelessness end?
The amount of news given to Anna Nicole Smith's death was astounding and more than a little embarrassing. The national cable news outlets made her out to be a head of state.
For someone whose tombstone should read "Went Through Life Stoned," she got
coverage worthy of someone who actually made a contribution to society.
The person who cared the most however was probably doing back flips. The death of Anna Nicole Smith will keep Nancy Grace rolling for months.
Not me. I have a rule at home or at work. When I see an Anna Nicole Smith story, I pick up the remote and change channels. Makes me glad that we still carry Andy Griffith.
Valentine's Day
Ok guys...here is the deal. It's part of the "work smarter-not harder" mentality that I find
so hard to grasp.
Just get the wife or the girlfriend a spa gift certificate. Let her get the manicure, pedicure, or the massage and she will be thanking you for days. When the lady of the house gets to indulge herself, she rarely forgets it.
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