Again, real life is getting in the way of writing....sorry for being away so long.
My schedule is in severe need of tweaking. Maybe winning the lottery would help.
My alarm goes off at 2...i shoot to get here at 2:30. (If the boss is reading this, I am NEVER late. If everyone else on the morning shift is reading this...stop laughing.)
So, let's try a different approach...maybe three things every day that get my attention.
So with that in mind...
1) The Queen and The Royal Herd...I mean Family.
What did you think of Queen Elizabeth's visit to the United States? She visited the Kentucky Derby and seemed to love it. It is always funny to me how the televising network handles the coverage. They show all the rich people and the horse owners in the stands. They make it seem like a regal and elegant gathering. Maybe one fit for a Queen. But in reality, it's more like Talladega. There is a 100 thousand people in the infield...mostly drunk and some offering up human sacrifices. Showing a few women with bad fashion taste and silly hats
makes better television than a thriving, boiling mass of drunk infield party animals. Well...at least the network does. Maybe MTV needs to carry the Kentucky Derby.
Wished I had been there.
Here is my problem with The Queen and the Royal Herd. I'm not sure that any of them have an IQ of more than 80 or so...I mean seriously...that gene pool is pretty shallow isn't it.
They are sort of the human equivalent of a cocker spaniel kennel.
Best example of that is Prince Charles. Here is a guy that has the best pickup line to meet women in the history of the world.
"Hello. I'm going to be the King of England someday."
And with that in mind, let me introduce you to Camilla Parker-Bowles (who finished seventh in the derby by the way).
A guy that could pick up the phone and meet any woman in the world...Elle McPherson, Halle Berry, Claudia Schiffer, Catherine Zeta-Jones before she married Grandpa Moses...but he picks Camilla Parker-Bowles. It must be love.
2) Graduation
My sister's daughter graduated from UNA last week. Hard to believe where two decades went.
I love graduation addresses. People trying to speak to graduates who just want to get out and go party. I would love to give a graduation address. My life advice would be a little different. Guidance you can really use. For example...
1) Don't abuse your credit cards. Chances are one day you will find yourself working for someone who doesn't have a clue, and has a mean streak. If you are smart with money and can take control of your financial future, you can tell them to take a hike if they ask you to do something illegal or immoral or both.
2) Don't pet a dog that isn't wagging it's tail. That goes for people as well as K-9's.
3) Read more.
4) One more television in the house probably isn't a great idea.
5) Be positive. Always. Don't let the "Fellowship of the Miserable"...the people who complain and whine all day pull you down. With that in mind, don't listen to talk radio. Unless it's Dave Ramsey.
6) You may complain about going to your kids game after a long workday. But you will miss it when they stop playing.
7) Call your kids every day.
8) Play the music loud. I love being "over 40" and playing Toys In The Attic loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Just turn it down at red lights. You could get a ticket from an officer who hates Toys In The Attic.
9) Money won't buy you happiness. But it will buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right next to it. Try to do something you love, but you do have to pay the power bill.
and if you think all of that is crap....then do the following:
10) Marry someone rich.
3) Jerry Hayes
Jerry spent a few days in Las Vegas covering the Academy of Country Music Awards.
He fit right in with country music royalty. (Country Music Royalty! I would hang out with them. Hi Martina...Hi Faith...Hi Carrie...Hi Sarah)
Anyway....
Jerry, and don't tell him I said this, has a crush on Sarah Evans. So if you see Jerry, tell him Sarah is calling soon. If you see Sarah, tell her to call Jerry. If you see me, tell me to tell Jerry to quit buying clip-on ties and maybe Sarah will call.
Seriously...Jerry is so cool. He fit right in on the "orange carpet" at the awards. Looked like he could take that guy's place in Brooks and Dunn with the mustache. Hmmm.....
Ya know...you never see them both in the same place.
Later. Three more things tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
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