I must have missed it. Did the war end? Where was I when we killed all the terrorists? The brave men and women are home?
Is the economy back on track? Is the mortgage crunch over? Are people able to stay in their homes now? I must have missed it when the every business and homeplace started hitting on all cylinders again.
Our schools? All problems in our schools are solved? I was asleep at the wheel apparently when every T was crossed and every I was dotted.
Is the presidential race on hiatus? Did Hillary and Barack take a break and go shopping? I missed it? Did McCain, Huckabee, Romney, and that Ron Paul guy whose fans keep calling and e-mailing go for a foursome at the local golf course? I missed it?
Is every problem in America solved? The quality of our life can't be improved in any way?
It must be. Cause when i turned on CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, Fox, and every other damn national news outlet this morning, all I saw was Britney Spears. Every news story has been advanced, fine-tuned, discussed, and analyzed in its entirety to the point that huge blocks of time and resources are now given to...Britney freakin' Spears.
Britney is going to the hospital. Britney has been to the hospital many times. I think its news when Britney doesn't go the hospital. In fact, in a week or so, when the current Britney drama is over, this should be the lead story: "World is good! Britney didn't go to the hospital."
Here is the short version of today's event in case you missed it.
Britney has an issue in the middle of the night.
Someone called an ambulance.
Ambulance picks her up.
Ambulance takes her to the hospital.
Britney admitted.
No confirmination of Dr. Phil being there....wait, He is on CBS morning show making a case that he did the right thing visited Britney the last time she was in the hospital.
(It's purely coincidental that Dr. Phil has a talk-show and the forklift that carries that monsterous ego parked at the hospital to help "Her Cajuness."
See: www.opportunisticgasbag.com
If you want the long version, go to any network morning news show when it comes to Britney. When it comes to the coverage of human debris slowing floating, sinking, and dying in the quicksand of life and culture, thank God we have every single movement, inside her body and out, covered to the nth degree.
It's embarrassing. The atom-by-atom disintegration of a celebrity now passes as important news. Call me when these people quit self-destructing. It was Anna Nicole yesterday. It's Britney today. And tomorrow's dysfunctional, socially maladjusted, trainwreck mega-star is just waiting in the wings of the next pathetic duo called celebrity parents to shove him/her/it on page one and into blazing glory. Some people have cattle. Celebrity parents have children.
And while they are waiting....plenty of airtime and column space will be waiting on them.
By the way, there are six people left in Presidential race, home foreclosures are up 75%, and almost 4,000 U.S. troops have died in a conflict that has lasted longer the World War Two.
Wonder when Britney is going home?
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5 comments:
Here, here my friend. I'm with you all the way!
in the words of chris crocker...
"LEAVE BRITTNEY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!"
yeah, i'm with you on this.
how's it goin, greg?
You forgot to mention that the Associated Press editor recently told staffers to follow every development with Britney.
Why? Because people are interested.
Dude, I'm not arguing with anything you say. All of those issues you brought up are more important than a self-destructing pop tart whose career is cooling faster than the poles are warming.
But those morning "news" shows are ultimately trying to do whatever they can to get people to watch, especially on the first day of sweeps.
I personally don't give a hoot about Britney, y'all, but it's clear that a lot of people do. She sells magazines. She juices ratings. And guess what the biggest keyword search on Yahoo was the last 2 years? "Britney Spears"
The news folks are just giving the stupid public what it wants.
Now Amy Winehouse? I'm all for ending coverage about her. That chick is FUGLY.
She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out!
She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out!
She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out!
She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out!
She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out!
She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out! She's out!
LET THE GAMES BEGIN
Poor little Miss Spears! Her life would make for high ratings as a "Movie of the Week"! I will not be at all surprised if at some point in the near future all Hollywood goes wild airing and publishing her death story, much as they did with poor Miss Monroe and poor Miss Smith. Ok, she's cured. Put her on the next MAC flight to Afghanistan or Baghdad.
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